


The enemy of love is the truth

by FlorenciaMD



Category: British Actor RPF
Genre: Betrayal, Drug Addiction, F/M, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Drug Addiction, Sexual Tension, Theatre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 11:10:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20852480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlorenciaMD/pseuds/FlorenciaMD
Summary: They were happy just as friends, but one morning the call from an old trauma may change everything.





	1. The call

It was 4 a.m. when the sound of the phone ringing wake her up, she run to her living room but the call was over before she could pick up, and she saw the clock thinking she had to be up in less than an hour, after all it was Monday and she had a ton of work in front of her.

Not like Y/N had actually sleept, she had two motives to stay alert and don’t completely close her eyes, one was in her guest room wrapped in her blankets and the other was completely passed out in her sleeper couch, albeit the reason that sleeper couch was there was precisely the colourful group of individuals that crashed in her apartment every now and then and she always felt compelled to watch out for them to not die in their sleep after the massive amounts of alchohol they surely had consumed the night before.

But he was by far the more unsettling sight she have had in a while, none other that Tom Hiddleston himself, she mentally cursed the man because even then he looked handsome, _specially _like that she thought later. He had tossed aside the blankets she had given him and was lying on his back with his mouth slightly open breathing peacefully and his shirt was completely open… _How was it possible?,_ she told herself, even unconscious he drove her mad.

She suppressed her brilliant idea of go lied down with him _You had your chance and you lost it remember? _Said the voice in her head, which was Y/N voice just more sassy, and simply took the pink instant camera she had in her desk and took a picture of him. Fortunately they were now friends close enough and she knew he wouldn’t be mad about it. She hold the tiny picture and hold it as it was revealing when the phone ring again, she knew he would call back, even when she hope he didn’t, with a hint of pain still in her heart she pick up the phone.

“Hi there… I miss the first one” She said calmly inadvertently sitting next to the handsome men next to her.

“Yeah well I assume it was you and hoped you would call back, it’s today after all. And it was your turn” she said, and looked at her kitchen thinking if her friends would like some pancakes with their hangover.

“Totally, we should talk in person at some point, or at least more than once a year on the phone” She chuckled, that was a rehearsed conversation they said the same every year, yet here they were. But before the traditionally I’ll try to call soon empty promise could surface the person in the other end said something completely different, and she felt her heart fall to the floor so she had to press her hand in a fist firmly in the couch in an attempt to don’t said what she really thought, she must have done it abruptly because a soft hand with long fingers hold her fist and a pair of blue eyes looked at her tired and worried, and he spoke in a raspy voice.

“Is everything alright?”

“It is darling, go back to sleep” Y/N said rapidly dissolving the fist, and her interlocutor reacted surprise she had company. “Yeah, something like that, would you sent me the details to my email please, yeah it’s the same Y/N Y/L/N 08@gmail.com no spaces, I would give you and answer by Friday… sure, am… take care”

She hung up, still feeling a tense knot in her throat, but she shake it of her mind easily, it was almost 4:30 and she needed to get ready for her shift at the hospital at 6:00.

She looked aside and found a pair of blue eyes now completely awake looking at her with no longer trace of drunkenness, he sit in front of her “What is that?” He ask pointing at her hand and she notice that she still had the picture in her hand.

“This?” Y/N try to look completely innocent “ This may be my new favorite picture of award winning actor Tom Hiddleston, I may save it for when you get a Tony” she said showing it to him and he quickly try to take it from her hand without success as she took it in her other hand leaving him just holding her wrist a bit tighter than he should.

“Well in that case”, he said getting on his feet still holding her, and looking for the pink camera and smiling playfully, “You should let me take a picture of you, that short nightgown is a look that suits you darling” He said devilishly, and happy to se her gone completely red, and trying to take the camera away from his hands.

That was their friendship, a constant tease of one another which ultimately leads nowhere, not that he doesn’t want to, but the memory of their only attempt to romance always remind him of keep things that way.

“When you two stop flirting” Said a voice entering the room and their mutual friend Zawe look at both of them “Its bloody 4 in the morning, so we either get breakfast or go back to bed, my head is killing me”.

Y/N nod letting go of the camera, giving him a chance to take her picture, and go in the kitchen as fast as she could so they could make breakfast, she hated when people comment on their relationship, but she knew her friend meant well, the day was just starting and she had a lot in her mind to think about


	2. A new family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader remember the first time she met Tom, and the things that lead to this moment in their lives, unveiling part of her secrets

The rest of her morning occurred without remarkable events, her general practice office in the small london hospital she worked at was the perfect place to hide from her feelings. Nobody could blame her for not checking her e-mail. And February usually was a busy month with many people getting colds and the flu.

Then the sound of a text interrupted her thoughts, it was from Tom, “Are you ready to negotiate?” and it had the infamous picture he had taken that morning attached.

“The daily mail is offering me a trip to Paris for yours, can you top that?” She responded immediately.

“That would be hard to pass, but What about dinner? And my eternal gratitude of course” He responded after a few minutes, she could almost see the smile in his face, knowing he had won, “asking her out” like that always made her back off, but since he was not physically there she send one last text “I’ll think about it” even when she regretted at te same moment.

How we end up here? Y/N asked herself after 30 minutes with no response. Being honest it all have started little over 3 years back, one day before her 30th birthday when the idea of spending that day far from her friends and family was about to break her resistance and forced to call a certain person.

She was coming out of her shift at the hospital, it was 4 p.m. walking from the tube to her apartment, it was in the middle of some nasty and loud bars but it was cheap and quite empty at the time; when she saw her, a beautiful blonde girl not a day older than 19, she seemed disoriented and she was sweating profusely.

Before she could think of a reason to keep walking and let it go she was already holding her still before she collapsed to the ground, the girl looked back at her confused but grateful, Y/N took her pulse, almost 40 per minute, too slow.

People start gathering around to see, so she asked someone close to her to call an ambulance while desperately looking for something with sugar. One of the bar tenders offered her a simple syrup he used to make cocktails and looked surprised when she put it straight in the girl’s mouth.

She recovered some color, looked at Y/N and quietly said “Please call my mom”. The ambulance arrived and drove them both back to the hospital.

Her name was Bethany Edwards, and the worried woman that appeared 15 minutes after they were at the hospital was Caroline Edwards her mom, as she told Y/N she was the manager of the Harold Printer theater. Going trough a nasty divorce, as she told her while both waited for Bethany to wake up.

“When did she start using?” Y/N said once the woman was calmed enough. It taker by surprise the bluntness of the question but it was truly no reason to sugarcoating it.

“About a year ago” when her father and I separated. “He once said to me that he had already be enough in her life while she was little and sick… I guess this was her way to prove him we still needed him”

“Well I guess doctors don’t usually tell you Type 1 diabetes and cocaine don’t mix, but she will be fine” and out of sympathy she add “Don’t be so hard on yourself for other people mistakes”

And so they became friends, and she became a constant presence in the theater unspokenly taking care of Bethany, every now and then she took care of Caroline’s staff too, a bloody nose, a small burn for a shortcut, and, to the dismay of the understudies, of the actors too. And she end up in the payroll, with a schedule of 5 to 9 with an office and a new family.

And then the Betrayal production started, and she met Tom, as perfect and as beautiful as she had seen him in movies, she had, as discreetly as she could, watch him rehearse, completely overwhelmed by the way he got into character, and she had just smiled at him and pointed to her right when he had ask her where could he find one of the makeup artist.

Until Caroline, tired of looking her helpless crush on him, introduced them at Bethany’s birthday party and him, being the perfect gentleman he always was, completely ignored their previous awkward encounter.

They talked, and they drink, maybe a little more than she should, and they even share a group song in the Karaoke. But then she ruined everything. The little spark, and the little maybe were stumped to death by her big mouth and emotional baggage. After a terrible first date they chose to be justfriends, and the years passed proving it was the right call, she cared about him deeply, and even when she could not believe it, she knew he did too.

The hours passed, and she got out, and soon she find herself on her way to the theater. A new text appeared in her screen. “Dinner is ready, it’s your favorite” with a picture of a take out bag from her favorite sushi place, waiting for her in her office and two pairs of chopsticks. She couldn’t help but smile, she loved him, there was no other way to describe it, even when it was impossible she truly loved him.

“Here’s your bloody photo” she said when she finally entered her office. “But you are gonna have to take me to Paris some day”

“You can keep it love” He said opening the bag and taking out the food “And I would keep yours, you never know when it may be useful” He showed her the picture proudly displayed in his wallet and she had to hold herself from her desk to not swoon at the thought of him carrying her picture all day in his pocket. So she opened her laptop and pretend to check her email in order to avoid is obviously amused look.

“What is today, by the way??” He finally asked, she clearly was upset in the morning, and the idea of something causing her displeasure didn’t suit well with him. “Earlier today you said ’It’s today after all’ What is today?”

And she clearly didn’t want to answer because se pretend to ignore the question while a shadow of sadness appeared in her eyes. So he asked again.

“February 08? Monday? … winter I don’t know” she answered, ignoring the question and looking deeply in her screen.

“I think after three years we are past this kind of nonsense” He said even more concerned “But you clearly are upset about something” And that kills me, so fucking answer, he wanted to say but he didn’t and after and awkward silence he only add “It’s okay if you dont want to talk about it… But I’m here for you”

Then she took her eyes off the screen, clearly trying not to cry, and finally said: “It’s my wedding anniversary”


	3. The party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time Y/N meet Tom and how disastrous it went

The awkward silence lasted long enough for him to sit on her office couch looking anywhere but her direction pretending he didn’t hear. Until Tom finally looked back at Y/N, he wanted an explanation, to know the cold and ugly truth, but he also wanted to pretend those words had not been spoken.

“I beg your pardon?” He said dryly after a few more seconds. “Wedding? Like in you are married??” Add him bitterly, and bite his tongue before he could say with someone else?.

“No, not like that” she was taken aback by the reaction he had shown, like if he was hurt, so she start pacing trying to explain herself “It’s one big mess, and a long story, I know I should have told you before, but it was so long ago… this is some fucked up situation ok? I’m sorry” she left herself fall sitted next to him and cover her face defeated.

“Well start then” he said, almost relieved because she said no.

“You have to be on stage in less than an hour” he rolled his eyes at the stubbornness of this woman, but she was right.

“Then when it’s over, I’m free at 10 and we can talk then. That works for you?” She simply nodded and looked at him with an expression he only had seen in her one time long before, complete and crude pain.

“Ok then” he stood up and walk to the door, before walking out he add “whatever it is I’m with you”

He went of to preform, if his castmates noticed something was troubling him they didn’t say, what the audience did noticed however was a sad flex in the usual angry cold and distant demeanor that his character Robert demanded.

He could remember how 3 years prior he had spotted Y/N during one of the rehearsals, making her blush furiously, nothing out of the ordinary, he always felt flattered by the influence his presence had on his fans. But on the opening night while he delivered his lines he could see her in the audience with a look clouded by pain, crude and pure pain.

Robert: No, look, I’m sorry, have another drink. I’ll tell you what it is, it’s just that I can’t bear being back in London. I was happy, such a rare thing, not in Venice, I don’t mean that, I mean on Torcello, when I walked about Torcello in the early morning, alone, I was happy, I wanted to stay there for ever…

At the time he assumed, being the young beautiful woman that she was, that she had her fare share of heartbreaks, and if someone had at some point betrayed her the subject of the play may have resonated hard with her.

The truth was after that moment he couldn’t take her out of his mind. He try to talk to her but any attempt ended up in some awkward interaction.

“Bethany looks radiant, after all you been trough you must feel happy and relieved” He said to caroline on the girl’s 20 birthday party. “You are a brilliant mother, I’m glad to see you as the powerful woman you are”

“The secret is discipline, love and my personal guardian angel Y/N” she said with a chuckle while he immediately looked for her in the crowd. “She is crazy about you, you know? Smartest, toughest woman I know, complete putty when you are around”

He hid his grin taking a big sip of his drink, he was quite aware of it, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy it.

“And you are not better” she continued “Every time you don’t need to be on stage you look like a bloody owl spinning your head trying to find her, and I don’t remember a moment this week that I were near her office that you didn’t casually approach me for some nonsense, both of you are helpless”

“That’s absolutely ridiculous” He said frowning because again she was correct. “I have in my best interest the life of all the people that works with me, it’s not like am stalking her”

“Surely dear, and you would say now that you would also make Bethany ask the set designer if he is single” she said sarcastically. “What are you waiting for Tom?”

“I don’t know what do you think it’s happening here” He started, looking at Y/N talking to other guests across the room “But you are wrong, and even if by any means I were infatuated by your doctor friend, I couldn’t act upon it, she clearly as you said has an interest in me and it wouldn’t be fair”

“Of course, because to consenting adults can’t have a fucking normal conversation to figure things out, and it’s way more normal to dance around each other like a pair of idiots, you know what? I’m gonna end this now”

She took him by the hand and dragged him across the people on the dance floor until they were in front of Y/N, but this time she didn’t become a bright red mess, maybe it was the alcohol, or simply she was past that silly crush phase.

“Hi darling, having fun?” Said Caroline with her most candid smile.

“Of course, the new house is gorgeous by the way” Y/N answered with a genuine tone “And Beth looks so joyful, it’s amazing”

“I’m glad dear. By the way have you met this beautiful man here?” She said putting her hand on Tom’s shoulder holding him still in case he try to escape “Mister Tom Hiddleston, Doctor Y/N Y/L/N, she is a dear friend of mine”

“It’s a pleasure” He said playing along and shaking her hand. “I know what you did for Bethany, it’s truly remarkable” he said with that damn smile that make every woman tremble.

“There’s highly any remarkable about it” she said letting go of his hand “It’s more of a right place at the right time situation”

“Don’t put yourself down dear” Said Caroline smiling at her, and after as if some sudden realization hit her she add “Oh were are my manners, I have to see the other guests, you two have fun” she give Y/N a quick wink and walked away.

“So you have work with people with addictions before?” He asked breaking the silence.

“Oh yeah, back in my twenties, some shelters or rehab centers have really crappy medical assistance so…” She shrug and continue “A way to put back you know?”

They keep talking, finding a lot in common, they exchange numbers because he wanted to know about the charities she worked with, they dance even when she didn’t know quite well how, but end up laughing and enjoying herself anyway, and they drink a little more, enough to warm up the pipes as Caroline said pulling out a Karaoke machine and they sang completely out of tone by 2 a.m. When one of her ankles almost gave up in her heels he kindly offered to take her home since he was still in condition to drive.

“This was so much fun” She said when she was out of his car with her shoes in one hand “I don’t think I had drink like that in quite some time, it’s going to be a bad shift tomorrow” She looked at him trying to find a way to say Do you want to come in? “You are so stupidly cute you know? Not like movies cute, way cuter…although you are almost that pretty in one of your movies”

Tom’s mind keep repeating what he had said earlier to Caroline, It wouldn’t be fair she is too into you, and at the moment she was also too drunk.

“It would be a pleasure to cheer you up after your terrible shift if I may” He said pretending he didn’t hear what she said about him “why don’t you have dinner with me? If you are free by noon of course”

“Like a date?” She said suddenly feeling less drunk but more nauseous.

“Of course like a date, and you could tell me in what movie I look prettier”

On the weeks to follow they would tease about each other behavior, even when their date end up in complete and utter faliure. And even after those year he still didn’t know what movie she was talking about. But they did end up talking about charity, books, and movies, him end up fascinated by the many aspects of her personality more and more every day, and forming a strong and beautiful bond. A friendship he treasured deeply.

Back to the present after the curtain call Tom took a deep breath before exiting to the parking lot, the night was cold and when he finally arrived to her car she was there, both of them more calmed, and he thought of how he actually meant it, he wouldn’t mind what she said to him. He loved her too much to care.


	4. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tragic secret of Y/N is finally revealed

London traffic lights were dancing all around when they get on their way, Tom’s apartment was the destination, not without hesitation and objections on Y/N’s end, but since he was driving and they ultimately have chosen to use his car it seems like the right idea.

“Would you like some tea? Or something stronger?” He said once they found themselves in his livingroom.

“Just tea will be fine” she said tossing her backpack with her medical stuff in the floor. She liked his apartment, it was spacious and luminous, and he always have some fascinating book liying around that she would end up borrowing.

“Well, how do I start?” She said to him when he came back from the kitchen with two cups and sited in front of her. He could see her displeasure, but at the moment his curiosity was taking the best of him. Y/N let out a deep sigh, and took a sip of tea before finally starting. “I guess first I have to tell you I’m not the victim nor the good guy of this story, quite the opposite in fact”

“Well that I found hard to believe, but I’ll take your word for it” He crossed a leg over his knee and sit relaxed as an invitation for her to continue.

“It all started when I was about 17 or 18, on my first year of uni, Jesus that must be… 2006?, do you still had the baby face right??” She said and he inadvertently passed his hand on his now quite long ginger hair, thinking how he was just 25 at that time. “Although I really like the beard, it suits you better”

“Clever, love. But you are not going to distract me, please do continue” he said with a chuckle.

“Fine, that part it’s not actually that complicated, I wanted to be the best, and I had always been a good student, and I bust my freaking arse to not stop being one, no parents pressured, only my own obsessive mind telling me I had to, but eventually the pressure was hard, and I started taking pills and when they weren’t enough I move to cocaine” She rub her hands together nervously, he only nod with obvious shock in his eyes so she continued. “He was supposed to be a first year of college fling you know? Beautiful young David. But he was to nice and to decent for that and he saw me at my worst, so he called my parents and they got me into rehab, I hated him for that, but I also was grateful. Then I got out and got my bachelor’s degree and went to med school”.

The clock on his wall marked 11:00, he didn’t say anything, even when he wanted to, and he started to regret his decision of asking, as for this were clearly some deeply personal and sad memories for Y/N.

“That’s what you mean with putting back, don’t you?” He asked finally remembering her words. She only nodded, relieved the empathyin his voice “There’s nothing wrong about that” he said finally “Sounds like it was a difficult time for you… and he sounds like a lovely fellow”

“Oh he is, at least I hope he still is. We were together for almost ten years, and obviously he eventually proposed, we were going to get married on February 08, 2016…”

“Did you let him at the altar?” He interrupted her with a tone that didn’t properly hide his feelings.

“Of course not! but I do called the wedding off about three months before it happened, and left or flat with all my belongings before he came back from work” she touched the bridge of her nose exasperated, even after all those years the memory was as fresh and as painful as that day.

“Why? Did you stop loving him? Or…” He didn’t want to formulate out loud the question his brain already had.

“I didn’t cheat on him if that’s what you are thinking” She smiled for the first time as if she knew what he wanted to say. “People like to think they are so final and decisive about those things, he or she cheats and it’s over, but that rarely happens. I mean he wasn’t a saint, neither was I, we fight, but we were faithful at least I for sure was… but we were not honest”

“Oh no this again” he stood up and rest his hands in the back of his chair. “Are you going to lecture me again about how, according to you there can not be complete honesty in a loving relation? Because I tell you, the one you gave me on our first date was more than enough” He sounded serious however he started laughing at the memory triggering Y/N to start laughing too.

“I have told you that before didn’t I? Well this may help you understand better. We were together ten years, but I can bet we only were truly in love like four, while I was in med school and he was trying to became a successful architect, the sense of purpose I think. If we have being honest we wouldn’t even started dating. Like I almost saw you dying so I’ll stick around so I don’t have that in my conscious. Or maybe Sorry love but I just wanted to shag because I was beyond stressed and you have nice arms. ” she said causing him to almost spit his tea and forming some nice spots of red in his face. “Oh grow up, we talk about getting married at the time, when we get out of school, when we get a steady job… but we didn’t. I think we like the delusion, the idea of a distant happy ending”

“That’s why you leave? Because it became real?” He asked and some memories in his mind started to click together, and she finally confirmed what he suspected.

“I’m sure you remember the first time I saw you perform, I was doing fine until scene four but by the time Robert and Emma kissed living together in the painful misery of knowing her infidelity and still together for the sake of … I don’t know society? Children? I start having flashbacks, and it was reminiscent of how I imagined my life would be if I had stayed, staying together just for the sake of it, having children together because why not? And end up as a couple of strangers sharing a bed, he would have a lover maybe or maybe I will and the love and respect we had first for each other turning into mockery”

He slowly started approaching to her, until he was sitting next to her on the couch “Then that bloody seventh scene came up, and it was too much, I saw myself in Robert… misogynistic bastard aside, I related to feeling out of place even with the people you love, because you can only be content in your loneliness… because I did love him, but not in a passionate way that I couldn’t take my hands of him, neither as a friend, it was more, he was my partner one third of my life of memories, I left because I loved him, because I wanted him to be happy, because he would not be happy with me, I run away like a coward because I was sure he would talk me out of it if I told him how I felt”

For a moment she went silent and he hesitated to talk so she resumed her story “And then you looked at me and the weight of my choices fall flat and heavy on me, and I had to stood up and get out before turning in to a bawling mess, ” she said, and star to laugh and the tears start rolling trough her face and he couldn’t keep it together anymore so he hold her, he hugged her not to stop the tear but to reassure her he was there, to let her feel she was not, as she feared, alone.

After a couple of minutes their hearts were beating at a similar rate, it felt nice, so she break the contact fearing being lost forever in his arms.

“I must say.” He started, looking at her like asking permission to talk. “That’s the best review I’ve ever had” she allowed herself a small smile and stood up walking to his balcony, it was past midnight by then and even when it was winter she felt they needed some air. He followed Y/N and continued. “So was he who called you in the morning?”

“Oh that, it’s something silly actually” she said resting both hands on the balcony looking into the night “I obviously left behind a note explaining everything, and make sure our families get their money back, but the day the wedding was supposed to happen I called him, to make sure no gifts of clueless family or friends were send to the flat, and the next year he called me, and it sort of became a tradition, we don’t even follow each other on Twitter, but we take turns to call every year, expecting I guess one time the other won’t do it.”

“That’s civil, and quite romantic actually” he said leaning his back on the balcony looking to the door.

“Nothing like that, it has become mechanic, Nice to hear you, we should meet for real, I’ll call you more often, you should start dating again” she said resting her chin on her hand.

“So why do you give him your email?” He pressed again.

“And I thought you were sleeping. Apparently he followed my advice last year and he is going to get married in two weeks. To some posh girl who thinks wedding websites are chic.” She said looking por her phone and showing him David_+_Diane.com “Who would have thought? Seems like you can’t sleep with a man for 10 years without getting invited with a plus one to his wedding”

“That’s why you are upset? Do you still love him?” He asked, still looking at the couple’s website.

“Of course I do, but not in the way you think. I’m beyond delighted that he finally found someone, it’s just depressing, I have an amazing job, wonderful friends and a nice flat. Yet I blow up any chance I get to enter a relationship, it’s just selfish on my side to feel upset to be honest, but happens every year”

He suddenly started laughing, covering his face with one hand. Y/N knew pretty well why, and let him have it, even when she was still embarrassed about it.

“You are an entitled selfish bastard, who gets off on the world worshiping him” He said finally imitating her voice, “Our first date was on February 08, three years ago, is it safe to assume that you talked to him before our dinner?”

“Did I apologize about it? Yes that’s why I lashed out on you.”

“Every day for like a month, but it was funny in the end. So? What are we going to wear? Her color scheme seems to be yellowish, so blue or purple will stand up, I look fine in blue but feel free to choose”

“Are you inviting yourself to the wedding?? What makes you think I will take you? Or that I want to go for that matter?”

“Because my dear” He started leaving her phone in the rail of the balcony and inadvertently getting closer “I know how that beautiful and wicked brain of yours work and you want to win, and I’m here to help you with that, also it can’t be worst than our first” he said finally facing to her and slightly brushing her shoulder.

“I guess not. Why do you keep calling it first? there was never a second.” She said fixing the collar of his shirt and not talking her hand of his chest.

“Hope? I guess we could call the wedding the second one” He wink at her resting his left hand in her back, she shivered slightly but didn’t move, oh how much she liked that beard. “Why didn’t we, by the way? Had a second date? There are tons of things you haven’t answered yet” he almost whispered so she had to lean in to hear him.

“Who knows? And what haven’t I answered?” She whispered too resting her forehead on his chin, he could smell her perfume, and his heart was racing behind the hand resting on his chest.

“In what movie I look the prettiest? for example” He said, she chuckled but the hand in her back was now holding her tightly, as if he fear she would escape.

“Assassin’s creed” she answered and could feel him frowning and then smiling, so she finally looked up.

“You know damn well that’s Fassbender” there it was again that playful sparkle in his eyes, just waiting for her to make up her mind.

“Do I? Well he is cute” she smiled at him and he lightly pressed her back, insisting in her making the first move, their bodies already have made the decision their minds were fighting and their lips were know just a couple centimeters apart…

🔊 🎵🎶 Say, heeeey, good lookin’ Whatcha got cookin’? How’s about cookin’ somethin’ up with meee?🎶🎵🔊

Y/N instinctively move to pick up her phone, it ring with a tone she had customized exclusively to make fun of his yodel skills, breaking apart from him and answering with an almost angry tone.

“WHAT? I mean hello… no I wasn’t asleep, what happened?… Oh my God, is he alive? … Don’t worry, yeah I’ll be there as soon as I can… bye”

She hung up and went straight back into the apartment with an equally silent PPTom.

“Trouble?” He sked while she picked up her backpack checking if her spare change of clothes was still there.

“Yes, my friend from the night shift, he was in a car accident and is getting into surgery so I’m going to cover up for him, can you call a cab?” She said trying her best to avoid his gaze.

“Nonsense” He answered and she finally looked up “I’ll drive you, don’t worry, I’ll make you some coffee and we can go”

“Fine, thanks” she said with relief, when he came back from the kitchen with a portable mug, she was already at the door. “I’ll buy you a drink at the wedding to make up for this” she said with a smile, he wanted to asked her if she meant the balcony or the drive, but he didn’t, so he only nod and opened the door.

“It’s nothing really, you are gonna be destroyed by tomorrow, that certainly will be fun to watch”

They drove fast, in the now more quiet streets, their only topic of conversation were how nice was the guy in the OR, and how much work she would have when she arrived.

He helped her to get down of his car, making sure to keep at least a meter of distance between them when they waved goodbye, but before he could enter the car Y/N called him.

“Hey Tom.” He looked at her with a lazy smile “Happy birthday by the way” and only nod and got in his car driving into the night, both of them with their feelings once again unspoken.


	5. The date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another part of their past story, and how Y/N deals with the possibility of changing their relationship

“And you didn’t kiss, again?” Zawe said, she took a sip from her wine glass and take her hand to her forehead with exasperation. “This has been going on forever now, I’m done, Caroline you take care now”

“Don’t look at me, I basically push them together what else can I do? Lock them inside my office? Trust me I have thought about it.” The other woman said.

“Excuse me, I’m still here and I can hear you” Y/N said questioning why did she agree to have lunch with them in the first place, however she had chose to only tell them about the invitation to an ex’s wedding and the late tea at Tom’s flat and not a single thing else “And what does again is supposed to mean?”

“New year two years ago” Caroline started “I was dating that gorgeous Greek guy with the most beautiful abs I have ever seen, and everyone kissed at midnight, and what did you do? You leave the dance floor to go vomit in my bathroom”

“Oysters and champagne don’t mix” Y/N said getting red remembering the night “And Stavros was only kind of hot” she add making Caroline sigh with pretend indignation.

“What about january last year?” Zawe continued “Bobby was sick and he was on call for his last movie, and you take a week off to stay at his place to help him out”

“First of all I love that dog, and I did that for him more than for Tom, and second I didn’t stayed at his place” She answered knowing pretty well she was lying “I only get there super early and went out late at night, but I would have done that for you guys too”

They continued laughing and talking about nothing in particular, with the subject coming up time to time, they meant well and Y/N knew it, even if they didn’t knew the whole story.

“Being honest he is as guilty as you are” Caroline said signaling the waiter to get the check. “Last year on November you were at that gynecology symposium on Madrid, and he acted like he was losing his mind until he got in to a plane to met you there, and what brilliant excuse did he give you? He said he needed a flu shot and don’t trust his doctor here, also all those times he had crashed at your apartment are total bullshit I was with him the other night and he didn’t have a single drop, and I’m getting tired of helping him pretend he does”

“Oh please stop it already” they were walking towards Zawe’s car and she was as amused to find the truth about that obvious lie as she was exasperated by her friends “You are right ok? at least on my side. I have been childish about all of this. But if I’m honest I don’t know what could I do? In the end I’m still a general practitioner from a tiny hospital and he is Tom Hiddleston”

“Well darling, he could be the sound engineer of the theater or the Prime Minister himself” Said Zawe once they were inside the car “He still is crazy about you. What you have to do is take the leap, talk about it like adults, go to the bloody wedding and enjoy yourself without thinking of anyone else”

“And for once don’t run away like a scared chicken when things get personal” Caroline said happy that she finally was able to acknowledge her feelings.

“Sure… why not? By the way I been meaning to tell you something…”

The conversation fade away in other topics, a few more relevant than others, but Y/N mind was far away in the past thinking of the last time she risked all for him and how tremendously wrong it all have turn out.

They had agree he will pick her up at her place, after the most demanding shift she ever had, she took a quick shower and put on a flowy dress, and her coat, and in an effort to look more decent a pair of earrings.

She was trying desperately to make her makeup work when an alarm went off in her phone, a reminder to make a call and before she could think it trough she was already listening the dial tone, praying for him to don’t pick up.

“Hi there” his voice finally said when she was about to hang up “so glad to hear you. It’s everything alright?”

“Completely, how about you? Did you change your job as you wanted?” She said, now trapped in the conversation.

“I did, and them I changed it again, that’s why you should call people more than once a year, otherwise you never know the full story. What’s new with you?”

“I start working part time at a theater, as a personal doctor for the manager” she said getting close to what she wanted to say to him.

“Oh that’s great, have you met someone interesting there? Are you dating some gorgeous Shakespearean actor… actress??” He still knew her well enough to make things easy for her to talk about.

“I do, in fact I have a date… soon, it’s that ok?” She said the last a bit doubtful, she didn’t want to hurt him again.

“That’s amazing Y/N” David said sincerely “And relax, is not me who you should be worried about, I want you to be happy, just don’t go sabotaging things like you use to. I love you girl, but if I’m honest I think you chose to be miserable even when other people try their best to make you happy”

They talked for another couple minutes and when she finally said goodbye his words kept resonating in her mind, but he was wrong, it was not sabotaging, it was self preservation, like this stupid idea of a date. She was quite sure he was trying to make her feel less ashamed for her drunken advances on him, a nice dinner, some talking so she could go on with her life thinking “It simply didn’t work, but he is such a nice man”

And she hated herself for ending up in such pathetic position, thinking of how much fun tom must have had watching her making a fool of herself. She was determined then to call off the date, make a graceful scape before she could embarrassing herself but before she could called him there was a ring at her door.

He was gorgeous of course, his beard as well maintained as always and his hair combed to de back of his head in beautiful waves that she wanted to touch since the first time she saw him. He was wearing a coat over a simple dark grey shirt and jeans.

He smiled fondly at her when he saw her, there were dark circles under her eyes and he thought they looked beautiful, something refreshing about a woman who worked that hard on something that she loved.

Y/N intrigued him, she seemed to live like a mature functioning adult, but there was a childish sparkle in her eyes when she started to talk that made him want to know more about her, but then that ever present hint of sadness always refraining her to talk to much, all of which made her the most interesting puzzle.

“Something in mind you would like to eat?” He asked once they were inside his car, with his tinted windows up, he liked driving alone, but he liked his privacy more and they have proven to be an effective solution.

“Not really, anywhere you pick will be fine” she said smiling and he drove to a nice restaurant, making small talk about work, their mutual friends and the weather.

Once they arrived the valet took his keys and gave her what he thought was a meaningful almost impertinent smile.

“I really need to apologize for my behavior” She started once their food was ordered and the waiter had served them two big glasses of wine “It was inappropriate for me to act like that. I am deeply sorry”

“Don’t be, we were all a little drunk. But it was nice talking to you” they ate in silence, other than, what she felt, empty mutual compliments on each others carreras. Proving what she had fear since the night before. Until he finally spoke again “I’ve been meaning to ask you, did you enjoy the play?”

“Absolutely, Mister Cox and Miss Ashton are outstanding, and you obviously it’s an incredible play, all things considered” she said taken aback by the question and cursing herself for the last part.

“What things considered?” He asked now genuinely intrigued.

“Oh I’m sorry, I misspoke, it’s something stupid actually” she said nervously trying to avoid his gaze and failing.

“Come on, I’m a big boy, I can take some criticism” he lean back on his chair and open his arms, as if he waited for a punch, his eyes still fix on Y/N.

“Ok, but do notice this is coming from Y/N the feminist doctor who spend her free time protesting and not Y/N the fan of theater and literature.” She said finally looking back at him decided “I think somehow it demonizes Emma’s betrayal and eventual "punishment” while it glorifies the male ego of the two men. And also Robert Down is a prick"

He opened his mouth slightly surprised and then closed his lips in a thin line and let go a chuckle, with a mild blush crossing his face.

“Auch” He said finally, “Well it’s and old play… and he amm of course is not a good person, I guess if you are not familiarized with Pinter’s work you may have that kind of conclusion”

He had trouble finding his words to debate her, although he was impressed with her honesty, but since it was a sensible matter he wanted to be clear, however Y/N interpreted as him trying to dismiss her statement and change the subject, which put her one step closer to anger.

“You really are that nice aren’t you?” She started, with her voice cold and sharp “And I don’t mean it as a compliment, but you are right. I don’t know Harold Pinter’s work but I do know he is factually wrong, there’s no deep intricate meaning behind betrayal, in the end is quite simple, people can’t make the choice of remaining truthful either to themselves or the people who they love without being bitches about it. You like to shag around no strings attached fine do that don’t complain is it doesn’t feel like a home, you want a successful marriage fine forget about any other bloody temptation and be decent. But I guess in the end lies are what keeps people together. Once the truth is out, love dies and so the relationship” he was astonished, however the passion in her voice made him answered to her in a similar tone, changing completely the direction he had imagine for the evening.

“Don’t be absurd, that would imply people need to systematically lie in order to keep their relationships, if anything the play is a critique on those precise actions, while normal people try to have loving relationships in honesty, even when sometimes is easier to say a lie. And there’s a complete difference between lying to save your arse and conceal your dishonesty, and lying to be socially functional”

“So you never lie?” She asked now completely furious of what she felt was hypocrisy.

“Everybody lies, that’s the point, there is a difference in being oblivious on other people’s feelings imposing your wrong personal opinions and pretend that’s some moral high honesty, and being polite enough to avoid subjects that may hurt others” He said now crossing her arms, pleased with her momentary silence until she start to look for something in her purse trying to hide the hurt in her face.

“Exactly” She said finally putting a couple £50 notes on the table and looking at him with anger in her eyes “Like asking stupid women out so they don’t feel like total idiots for hitting on you while they were drunk? That kind of politeness?”

“What?” He said flabbergasted finally rising his voice “That’s why you think I asked you out?”

“Oh don’t patronize me!” She said also rising her voice and standing up “It must’ve been so funny, asking a girl who is obsessed with you on a date, what amazingly beautiful act of chivalry. You know what you are? You are an entitled selfish bastard, who gets off on the world worshiping him.” She took her purse of the table and put her coat back on, and before leaving she add “And men can’t be feminist, you would know that if you read a book on feminist theory instead the glorified misogynistic bastards you adore”

She quickly move away from the table leaving a perplex Tom behind, but before she could exit the restaurant he started following her, reaching her just a couple meters from the valet parking station next to the restauran small planters.

“Oh this is very mature of you” he called her “You owe me an explanation”

“I don’t owe you shit” He was close enough so he catch her by her wrist.

“Or at least let me take you home” he said turning her around, she rise her other hand and he prepared his right cheek for what he anticipated will be a slap, but something caught her eye and instead and she took her hand to her ear and to his surprise she change her voice to a high pitch whining, causing him to let her go.

“Oh whe is it? Where did I leave it? It must have fallen here” she started looking for something in the planters and kneeling near the fence.

“Are you having a stroke?” He asked getting down to her level “what are you looking for?”

“There’s a guy with a camera hiding behind a car two meters from you” she said rapidly in a whisper, she quickly put one of her earrings in his hand and said: “Follow my lead, don’t look back. Stand up now”

He did as she told him and they stand up, he was still holding the earring in his hand when she took it smiling wide, and putting it back on, and then for his surprise hugging him.

“Smile, get back inside, go to the bar, order a drink and then come back and ask for your car” she said using the proximity to whisper in his ear.

“Why?” He asked and the breaking the contact.

“Just trust me” she said between her teeth and smiling again. He returned the smile and nodded, going back in completely clueless of what was happening, in inside corner of his eye he could see the man with the camera.

He order a glass of wine, but he barely even touch it, the ten minutes he waited felt like eternity and finally he exited the place again. He give the ticket to the valet. The young man went for it immediately and he couldn’t help to feel observed. When his car finally arrived and he tried to tip him the guy simply said “it’s taken care of, drive safe” He nodded and get in his car not surprised to see Y/N already in the passenger seat.

He drove off and once they were a couple blocks away they looked at each other, and before anyone could talk they started laughing hysterically but it also felt cathartic.

“Care to explain what happened love?” He asked now back to his normal tone “Did you break into my car?”

“Of course not, Philip amm… the valet guy, he works half time as a medical assistant in my hospital. A couple weeks ago he told me that sometimes the waiters of that restaurant call the papers to get scoops on celebrities, and I assumed you didn’t want my stupid tantrum in the first page tomorrow”

“Well no, but at least I’m glad you admit it was a tantrum. Can I know what happened?”

“Oh, the guy with the camera come asking me why you were chasing after me, I told him I made a scene in the restaurant because I couldn’t find my late grandmother earrings and this handsome” She said exaggerating an innocent voice “who I didn’t catch his name, help me found it, then I texted Philip to let me get inside your car, because I supposed he will be waiting for you to come out”

“That’s amazing and clever” he said genuinely impressed by her story “But I meant at the restaurant”

“Oh… I had a terrible day, and I leashed out on you” she said turning red. “I am really sorry, you are not an entitled bastard, and everything I said… it was just out of place. I completely respect your acting, and I shouldn’t have expressed myself that way” she apologized for all the things she have said without him interrupting her while he drive back to her place.

“Don’t worry about it” he said finally smiling at Y/N again with the most candid smile he had given her yet “I’m sure other people have called me worst, just not to my face, and I do appreciate your honesty. Just one thing.” He said parking the car at her door. “That’s not why I asked out, and I apologize because I didn’t make my intentions clear in the beginning. Nevertheless this was a fun experience”

“Said that again” she said without thinking.

“This was really fun I actually enjoyed your company…”

“No, that word ‘nevertheless’ sounds way more powerful when you say it.”

“Nevertheless?” He said getting out of the car.

“Yeah, I actually have a tattoo that says nevertheless she persisted” she started playing with her keys in her doorway, looking pleased by the interest he show on that detail.

“You do go out protesting huh?” He said taking one step closer.

“I do, and I’m really sorry again” she said looking away and finally putting the keys in the lock.

“And again it’s nothing really, so now… am I’ll guess…”

“I’ll see you around” she said, he kissed her on the cheek and she entered her flat, wishing to forget everything about that day.

By the time she was back at the theater next day, she was hoping to leave all behind, but everyone seemed to be obsessed with Tom’s random act of kindness to a stranger that thank goodness the camera hadn’t focused well.

She chose to hide inside her office the rest of the night until by the time she assumed everyone will be leaving someone knocked on her door, she opened thinking Caroline may be needing something, but she was surprised when she saw Tom standing there.

“Today it’s my birthday, and we are going to celebrate, would you like to come by? I can’t help to remind how you called Charlie and Zawe mister and miss, and I think they would like you” he said passing his fingers trough his hair distractedly.

“I know, yeah I would love too” She said immediately “But first, please come in, I… um… I actually got you something, it’s a birthday present and also a peace offering for the way I acted yesterday” She went to her desk with him following behind her. She took something from the drawer “You are an amazing Robert, and I know you like to research your characters, I mean you probably have read this already but I thought you might like it” she give him a neatly wrapped brown package with a nice blue ribbon on top.

He opened unceremoniously with a child like expressions, touched by her gesture. And he opened his mouth in excitement and disbelief when he saw the book inside.

The Wild Swans at Coole. Other Verses and a Play in Verse. YEATS, W. B.

“Is this a…?”

“A signed original edition, yes.” She said happy “I assume you have many of this but I couldn’t think of anything else to give you”

“It’s perfect actually” he said already carefully opening the book “This is too much, thank you”

“Your welcome” she took her purse and stand up ready to leave. “So where are we going?”

“Right right” He said standing up too. “You are gonna love this guys”.

That had been the end of their would be romance and also the beginning of their friendship, but while Y/N tried on one of the multiple dresses Zewe had chosen for her the idea of trying again started to look less and less crazy, her plan was already in motion, she only hoped now that he would feel the same, and even more important than that, she prayed she wouldn’t loose him in case he didn’t.


	6. The rehearsal dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom finally meets Y/N previous love, and the tension between them keeps growing.

“She invited you to ex’s wedding?” Charlie said squatting out of breath, it was almost 8:00 am and they had been running since 7:00. “Don’t you think it will be a bit inappropriate? I mean what if she still have feelings for that guy? God I need to lie down”

“Technically I invited myself…” Tom started also taking big breaths “Oh don’t look at me like that, she they broke up long time ago, and even if she is not over him she would need support there, isn’t that right Bobby??” He knelt to pet his dog, who looked at them puzzled by how tired they seemed to be.

“So, when is the big day?” He said finally standing up.

“Saturday, but apparently we are going to a small diner on friday night, the whole event is in a Hotel in West Yorkshire, and I don’t feel like driving four hours in the same day”

“If I don’t know you better I would say you’re a brilliant bastard” he said choking out a laugh.

“Why?”

“Nice romantic hotel in the country, the emotional vulnerability of seeing your ex getting married, the comfort of the nice blue eyes of a loving friend” he said making and exaggerate gesture to Tom’s face “But is you so ai assume you won’t even share a room platonically”

“You are completely out of your mind” he said laughing “although it is a nice place, look” He showed him the electronic invitation where both bride and groom smiled to each other in front of the hotel.

“Is that the guy? Well she certainly had a type” he said studying the picture “I mean if he were older or a bit more fit he would look just like you” Tom look at the picture again not finding the resemblance “I’ll tell you something if you guys finally do hook up could you wait until March to tell people? I said 3 years and 1 month and Zawe said 3 years exactly and I don’t feel like letting her win.”

“Do you really have a betting pool about us? Don’t worry, I wouldn’t tell you anything even of something happens” he said with a chuckle and they continued their run.

On friday at 3:00 p.m. he showed up at Y/N’s place, with Charlie’s words still resonating in his head, he found her in a beautiful burgundy off shoulder column cocktail dress and black heels, making this the third time he ever saw her in a dress, it was a big difference from the usual sneakers and hoodies, not a bad one but he couldn’t help a bit of jealousy thinking this was for someone else.

“Stop staring at me, I know it’s ridiculous and I’m gonna break my bloody neck with this things” She said showing him the fragile tip of one of the heels, he smiled founding his friend true nature even in that situation. “Stupid dress codes, is it too late to stay home? I have a rosé in the fridge wwith your name on it if you let me…”

“And losing the opportunity of seeing you roll your eyes at every old men comments on the country’s economy?” He said putting her back inside the car and immediately after offering her hand to enter the car “Not a chance. You look lovely by the way”

“I won’t roll my eyes at them, believe it or not, I do know how to handle myself in social events” She put on her seatbelt and he started the car turning on the GPS “Is the idea of meeting our old friends from uni and his parents what freaks me out, they must think I’m some kind of monster”

Our for some reason that word hurt more than it should, he brushed off the idea from his head again, jealous was an useless emotion to him and a dangerous one too in some people, and he was determined to not let them get the best of him.

“I don’t think they would have invited you if they felt like that, or at least not to the rehearsal dinner too if that was the case.” He said taking an exit indicated in the GPS.

“You clearly don’t know Agnes Hawtrey” He briefly turn to her intrigued “David’s mother, she is a rich harpy obsessed with showing everyone all the money their family has. I feel sorry for her future daughter in law, but since they actually getting married I assume she is not some Liberal brat who thinks spending Christmas in Libya is appropriate” She said imitating an high pitch voice with a posh accent.

“Why Libya?”

“Medecins sans frontiers” She answered “I volunteered to work with them in my holidays and David followed me a couple times. Agnes hated me for it, I actually think she was happy when I left him.”

“Do you speak french?” He asked again trying to change the subject.

“Enough to work with them, but I’m completely rusty by now” she answered “I know it’s too much effort to escape a suffocating relationship” the angry beast that had formed in his chest began to fade thanks to the idea of she not being entirely happy with the other guy, so he decided to approach the problem differently.

“I don’t understand how do you end up together in the first place, you are too much of a free spirit to be around someone like that” He said, by now the city was getting behind them and he could start driving faster.

“Well my family is actually quite wealthy” She started causing a puzzled expression in his face “I reject any form of help from them and live on my own, but I did play my part in society for a while, so it seemed meant to be at the time. Of course I turned out to be a rotten apple and at some point I believe I was his excuse to hide how much he didn’t enjoy their life style. I told you he was no saint, and maybe those where our finest moments” She said with a nostalgic smile, as if she remembered an specially pleasing memory. “But real life happened, you know? You are gonna like him don’t worry”

“Well he sounds like a decent men” he said bitterly because his idea backfired “Music?”

They spend the rest of the trip talking about meaningless topics and singing along with the radio, by the time they eentered Yorkshire it was seven in the afternoon and the sun was standing to hide, the Waterton Perk hotel was magnificent, romantic and secluded as Charlie said, in the middle of a lake connected to land by a bridge full with trees naked by the winter that make the mansion looking more as something out of a fairytale.

He helped her out of the car and enjoyed having her body close to him while they crossed the bridge preventing her to fall with her heels. They entered a small lounge where people where waiting for the dinner to be served. As she had said earlier that week most of the people attending were old family friends of the bride and groom, and not many young faces were in the crowd. Except from those who he believed were the Uni friends, he introduced himself and even took a picture with one of the girls who had a similar reaction as Y/N when she met him.

Y/N was now chatting, a few meters away, more comfortable with them expecting the arrival of the main guests, while a couple of people were distracting Tom, complimenting his performance as Coriolanus a few years back and praising his Robert Down, so he couldn’t notice the old woman, elegantly dressed in a light gray dress walking towards Y/N and dragging her apart from her friends, until she start talking in that high pitch voice Y/N had imitated very well earlier.

“How dare you showing your face in here?” The woman said to her while the young woman only remind silent not meeting her gaze “You spoiled ridiculous brat, after what you did to my boy, you should be ashamed…”

“Relax Agnes,” She finally said lifting her look, Tom then was about to intervene but he could se a quiet rage behind her otherwise unaffected face, and felt forced to stay and watch “Let me remind you that your son invited me. And the last time I checked you are not David, also if you cared a little about your precious boy you wouldn’t be making a fool of yourself in front of your guests” People where now standing very close to them listening every word the women said.

“You are right dear,” Agnes started with a tone that said just the opposite, but smiling regaining her composure “After all how can I expect manners from a little trash from Devon anyway” Y/N let out a sarcastic laugh at the remark against her hometown and looked at her while the elder woman turned her back on her.

“Of course because the loose daughter of a fisherman as you called me can’t be a suitable in law for you, I honestly pity the poor woman who has to have you in her life, I hope you can control her since you couldn’t do it with me…

Her sentence die in the air because an old hand full of rings slapped her before she could finish, a red mark started forming in Y/N face, an she was fighting the tears, both from the humiliation and the hurt, from coming out of her eyes. Tom could see Agnes hand getting ready to hit her again while he tried to reach Y/N when a hand stopped her out of nowhere and spoke with a deep angry voice.

"That’s enough mother” The infamous David was there, holding her mother still and standing in front of Y/N as a shield, all welled dressed and athletic, she looked tiny behind him and the beast inside Tom’s chest started growling again. “Dad I asked you to watch her, Diane will be here any minute and I can’t have this happening right now” The man who Tom assume was his father took agnes outside of the room and the rest of the people returned to their conversations as if nothing happened, finally allowing him to get closer. “Are you ok baby?” He said looking finally at Y/N offering his handkerchief to wipe her tears, that last word burned like fire in Tom’s ears, he was now facing her with his back to Tom, and the bright smile that she gave him when she answered was making him sick

“It’s okay sweetheart” She give back the handkerchief and give the man a good look “Let her have it, she has wanted to do that for 15 years, it’s only fare, you look amazing, I’m so happy for you” She hugged him and the familiarity he showed holding her, made Tom’s blood boil, he wanted to get him apart from her immediately, and take her far away from him and the poisonous thought of they together for years was corrupting his mind, there it was, jealousy cold and simple, the only thing his mind kept telling him was: He had her, and you don’t. He had her for years, just the way you want her, she was his.

“And where is your something like that, I’m dying to met the lad” He said letting her go.

“Right behind you” she said completely ignoring the change in Tom’s expression who was looking at the two with his mind apparently somewhere else. “Tom this is David.” She said calling his name and breaking the murderous thoughts he was having.

“Sorry I wake you up the other night mate… Bloody hell you beautiful minx you did it!” He said loudly hugging her by the shoulder and then, much to his displeasure, Tom “Years obsessed with him, and drooling to his posters in our house and here you are inviting him to my wedding, I must say girl you made it! congratulations.” She started turning red again but this time from the embarrassment, and Tom finally relaxed, something about David’s personality make it impossible for him to be angry, maybe it was the fact that he was genuinely happy and how could he not? It was his wedding after all.

“Posters?” He asked enjoying the desperation in Y/N eyes urging him to change the subject.

“Posters, dvds, tshirts, you name it, she dragged me to watch your movies like four times each time they were on the cinema and then watched them on repeat at our flat” He recalled with exasperation “Don’t get me wrong you are a fine looking man but not my type”

“Oh god, I think I’m going to find your mother to slap me again” She said covering her face “Please, I beg you stop talking”

“Let the man finish, it’s the most compelling history” Tom said and while he put his arm around her waist taking her close to him.

“I’m glad to see you two together, I was so relieved when she said she was bringing someone, not like she needs anyone” He said anticipating her reaction proving to Tom just how much he knew her “But you two look actually happy together, and she’s the most wonderful person” Y/N was about to clear things out when Tom wink at her and pressed her a little closer to him.

“She actually is, and we are very happy” He said giving him one of signature smiles “Is that your bride?” A young looking woman entered the room with a beautiful pale pink dress, and she looked at them completely baffled.

“Oh yes baby, that’s my Diane” the man said and Tom felt ashamed for his brief jealous attack as the man seemed to call everyone baby. “Guess who we wake up the other morning dear?” The man said urging the girl to join them.

“Oh my goodness” The woman started “Are you…?” Tom smiled and politely introduce himself, and David then introduced both women “I am so sorry about the other morning, I told David to wait until noon when we were in Pakistan but he called you anyways, it was four in the morning right?”

“Yes, but never mind, what where you doing in Pakistan?” Y/N said now holding tight Tom’s waist too.

“Building a hospital, Diane’s foundation hired me a couple years ago and that’s how we met, we’ve been living there for like five months, we were just going to elope a few weeks back, but I did this so I wouldn’t cause my mother an aneurysm, but she had to accept my conditions to make it happen” He said proudly.

“Like inviting me?”

“That was actually my demand” Diane said with a little blush on her face “I really wanted to meet you, I heard so many wonderful things about you I thought maybe it was time for you to be friends again”

“And I told her we never stopped being friends in the first place, but she is stubborn, and I can’t resist her” they started kissing like there were no one else in the room and Tom and Y/N look at each other nervously.

“Oi! Leave something for tomorrow” on of their friends called them from the dining room “The food is here come on”

The rest of the night went by without any other incident, apart for the perpetual state of happiness that David showed for Tom’s presence, by the time the rest of the gests went to find their rooms Y/N and Tom were taking a last walk in the cold night, it was until they were at the entrance of the bridge that he noticed they were holding hands.

“Your boyfriend is quite a nice gentleman” he said teasing her.

“By the amount of wine he was trying to make you drink I would think he wants to be your boyfriend” she responded quickly. “Why did you told him we were together?” She question him now completely serious.

“I didn’t thought you wanted to explain the nature of our relationship after what happened with his mother. So until the wedding is over I suppose I’m your boyfriend. How is your face by the way?” He said, not giving importance to the matter while they kept walking.

“It has been better. And thank you I suppose you are right, and it is nice to imagine what could have been, if I haven’t been an idiot at the restaurant all those years ago, and not scaring you into not calling back” He stopped suddenly making them broke contact.

“That’s why you think I didn’t called?” He asked perplex “I couldn’t care less about that ridiculous tantrum, if anything I was more interested in you for it” she was too astonished by his declaration to talk so he continued “I didn’t asked you out again because you said I’ll see you around I assumed you didn’t want to be involved with me that way so I didn’t push it.”

“Well…” She started quietly with a sad half smile in her face “I did say that, with that precise intention, but secretly hoping for you to call anyway, and I even considered to ask you out myself, but then we became friends and, I don’t know it was for the best, but nights like this one make me wonder if we made a mistake.”

“Please never say that again” He took her face with both hands his hands and looked deeply in her eyes “Every day I have spend with you regardless of what our relationship may be, has been a blessing. I wouldn’t change it for the world” she let go a sigh and her breath turn into vapor in the night, making them realize the cold weather. “I think we should get back inside, you are gonna freeze out here love, and what kind of fake boyfriend will I be if I let you become an ice lolly?”. He offered her his arm so they could get back inside, his mind thinking too about how much he wanted to call her the minute he got home that day, but as always trying to respect her he didn’t , and as always he calmed his regrets telling himself it was for the best, even if every passing day he felt more and more the opposite.

The room they had book was nice and comfortable, the big canopy bed in the middle was a beautiful promise of a long night of sleep and the window had a beautiful look at the lake. They both will be lying if they said this was the first night they have spend together, falling asleep talking in Tom’s couch had happened more than half a dozen times, and even if Y/N never accepted it in front of her friends, she had stayed a couple of nights with him watching Bobby getting better, even sleeping in the same bed completley completely consumed by fatigue, so there was no awkwardness between them about consciously sharing the bed.

She took her heels off and found her silky romper pyjama in her suit case next to her travel size copy of Wuthering Heights, wich she occasionally read when she traveled and with the look outside the mansion it seemed appropriate, Y/N sit in the armchair in the corner of the room to read, waiting for Tom to get out of the shower, after reading four times the same paragraph without getting anything from it she realized just how tired she was.

She heard the door opened and saw him getting out of the shower whit just a pair of black loose sweatpants dangling from his hips and a thin line of pubic hair crawling up from the waistband dying in his perfect abs, drying his hair with a towel.

“What?” He asked her looking at her finally. “Do you feel alright darling?”

“I’m just tired” she said quickly taking her clothes and getting into the bathroom for a much needed cold shower. When she stepped out after drying her hair she almost fell down because he had turned out all of the lights and was already deeply sleeping, she’ll have time to nagging him about how inconsiderate that was in the morning, she entered the bed and close her eyes trying to drift apart and think about nothing when she felt his arms suddenly trapping her and bringing her closer to him by her waist.

She didn’t mind since they had cuddled like that before, even when this particular time she could feel the bare skin of his chest in her back, but then the hand that was holding her started moving slowly caressing her belly and some parts she often felt self conscious about, then slowly moving down to her thigh, she was about to finally move and stop him when she felt his breath behind her back and his deep voice in her ear.

“Are you awake?”

“Yes” Y/N said in a tiny whisper while his hand found her way under the fabric of her romper.

“Are you cold again?” He asked this time brushing his nose in her neck, every inch of her skin was reacting to his touch and the deep tone of his voice was making her wet “you are shaking”

“It’s not about that” she answered incapable of moving only embracing the magnificent sensations she was receiving.

“Am I making you feel uncomfortable?” His hand had finally found her lacy panties and he had stopped only touching the seam waiting for her permission to continue. “Do you want this to happen?” He said stopping his movements completely, she could feel her heart racing and all logic flying away.

“Yes, I want it” she said finally and he caressed her womanhood over the thin fabric, making her soaked, while his other hand tried to remove the top part of her jumper sliding down the traps leaving her braless chest exposed.

“Naughty girl” He said with a chuckle leaving a trace of kisses in her back and cupping her breast in his hand playing with her niple until it was hard and them pinching it to get her in that point between pain and pleasure.

He move apart the fabric of her panties and let one of his long digits inside her making her moan in pleasure and impatiently brushing her thighs together desperate for more friction, she could feel his arousal pressing firmly in her buttocks, and all this anticipation was only to torture her.

“Don’t be impatient my dear” he said letting in another finger and curling them inside her, touching her right on the spot to make her lost her mind “Tell me that you want it Y/N” he order her and she let go another moan.

“Fuck me Tom, fuck me please!” She said and he immediately took his fingers out to pin her in the bed under him.

He finished taking the rest of her clothes in one movement and opened her legs ready to enter her, he give her one last deep look with those piercing blue eyes and he bend to kiss her…

“You should take a shower or at least put on something more comfortable” Tom face said suddenly wearing his glasses and fully clothed. Y/N blink twice, before shaking the sleepiness, and trying to figure out what was happening. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up, but I thought you may want to shower before going to sleep”

She finally opened her eyes completely and could see him out of the shower on his pijamas, her silky romper still waiting for her to take a shower and her book comfortably resting on the lamp stand next to her.

“Yeah sure, I’m too tired I must have fallen asleep, thanks for waking me up” she said avoiding his look and desperately picking up her fresh clothes.

“Sure love, you can’t be at the wedding with a crooked neck” he said picking up the book she was reading. “You were moving a lot so I imagine that armchair can’t be comfortable” he said with a distracted smile and she went straight to the bathroom before turning red of embarrassment.

Y/N slammed the bathroom door closed, and Tom stood next to the armchair looking where she was just moments before, once he heard the water fall in the shower he massaged his temples, trying to erase from his mind what he had seen but it was impossible and he really didn’t want to forget it. She was sweating and panting when he got out of the shower, and the neckline of her dress a was a little lower than usual perfectly countoring her breasts.

He stood there looking at her and it took him just one more second to realized what kind of dream she must’ve been having. Blushing and feeling like a pervert he walked back into the bathroom determined to make as much noise as he could to wake her up when he heard her moan. Fuck me Tom, fuck me please! He walked back to her and before the blood abandoned his brain entirely, to migrate to his lower region, he did the logical thing and wake her up.

He exhaled feeling like and idiot. This was going to be a long weekend.


	7. A proposition and a ticking clock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are in front of a decision, and this time there is no turning point after they chose

A knock in the door woke him up, it was three un the morning and he had just fallen asleep about an hour ago, once Y/N was out of the bathroom they stayed up talking about the book she had bring with her in order to disperse all the impure thoughts away, and when she finally was sleeping next to him he kept looking at her, cursing himself for being a coward until exhaustion defeated him.

He got out of bed and walked the small hallway to the door while who ever were knocking didn’t stop.

“Fine what is it?” He said opening the door and finding a nervous David at the door still in his suit from early “What is it mate?” He said now more awake brushing one of his eyes.

“I don’t mean to wake you up again Tom… I can call you Tom right?” Tom only nodded affirmatively urging him to continue “But I just… I don’t know, I’m too stressed I need to talk to someone, but all the other guys are completely passed out and… can we talk?”

“Sure, wait a second” he said, and went back in for a jacket and the key to room and followed the man to the hotel lobby, and ask for two cups of the so they could talk. “Cold feet?” He asked once David was sited and drinking hi tea.

“More like full panic” He started putting down his cup and looking straight into his eyes “I never believed I will pass for this again, and I already have made peace with the fact that marriage wasn’t necessary and that we would be happy just being together, what if I fuck it up again? Like I did with Y/N.”

This was definitely not the conversation he was waiting for that early in the morning, and he didn’t feel comfortable talking about his friend past romantic life but since coming back to bed with her and face a whole other problem was not an option he tried to reason with him.

“You can’t define or expect to know how things will go by comparing two relationships, specially because they are both different women, and even if they weren’t you are not the same person you were five years ago.” He said trying to sound confident, and more hesitant he add “And for what is worth I don’t think you have fucked things up with her, I think both of you were just not meant to be, no faults just life”

“I know, it’s just I wanted this for so long it eventually became an obsession, and it destroyed something beautiful that I had so I reject the idea and now I just get it, just like that, no questions asked, no drama no doctor’s appointments, no crying and screaming and I feel like I don’t deserve it… what if I don’t want it anymore??” He asked burying his in both hands

“I’m not following that last part mate” Tom said completely clueless after the doctor appointments part.

“Diane is pregnant, about 2 months or so, it’s not showing yet and the idea of becoming a father is driving me insane, you know? after all that went down with Y/N… oh shit! You don’t know any of this are you?”

“No, I really don’t” he managed to said feeling all his senses now in alert, feeling that probably something hard to hear was coming.

“She never told you why we broke up?” He asked genuinely curious but before Tom could improvise an answer he continued “Well I guess is not weird, she never talks shit about people, no matter how much of a dick I was to her” he took another sip from his tea and looked at him defeated, with his mind lost in a painful memory “I was not as traditional as my parents, but still I wanted the wife the kids and the whole thing and she was too decent to refuse and we tried, and I was judgmental we couldn’t get it, and my mother was worst, and I suppose all that pressure eventually made her runaway, don’t blame her I deserved it, I turn my life around because of it, but I still feel guilty at times and undeserving of what I got.”

“You couldn’t?” Tom asked simply fixated in the tiny detail that may explain why she didn’t told him the whole truth.

“Yeah, she can’t have children, I settled for adoption but she was fearful I would resent her eventually and she left, among other things” He answered looking in the distance, the clock at the lobby marked 3:30 am.

“Do you love Diane?” Tom asked after a long silence.

“She is everything to me, the moon, the stars and the sun. Y/N was very important to me and I do care for her but Diane is just her” he said looking to the hallway back to his room.

“Then there’s your answer, when you love someone there’s nothing else, you just push trough, no doubts, no but or conditions, nothing else should matter, you just have to do it and find out if it works, but if you love her it will”

“You really love her don’t you?” He said now smiling at him joyfully “I mean I can totally tell you want to punch me in the face for what I did to her yet here you are giving me a good advice”

“Well she’ll be pissed if I did it, and you have to take pictures in the morning, but yes I do love Y/N” Tom said surprised how the words came out so naturally of his mouth and cursing himself again for not telling her yet.

“That’s fair, thank you” he stand up and offered him a handshake “I got to get back to my fiance” Tom watched him get away and after a couple minutes did the same, she was still peacefully sleeping and he wanted to hold her now more than ever, to tell her he didn’t care, to tell her he love her. He got back in the bed and fall asleep quickly now with a clear purpose in mind.

“As much as I love to see you drooling on the pillow” Y/N voice was near him and he forced his eyes closed, it felt like he had sleep for mere minutes “You are gonna have to wake up, they have coffee in here, but I think we are have to go down to socialize at brunch so wake up darling”

“Why?” He said now just playfully hiding his face in the pillow.

“Because we are suppose to be a young couple and couples drink mimosas to avoid their personal insecurities, get dress come on” he looked at her, she was already dressed up in a white two pieces suit with a big golden belt holding the high waisted pant and for a moment his mind drifted thinking how difficult would it be to take it off, he smiled to himself and got out of the bed picking a blazer from his suitcase and taking off his shirt, knowing too well she wouldn’t say anything, but enjoying the slight blush she had when he faced her buttoning up his shirt.

“You look nice” He said to her and she turn to the newspaper immediately “Although I do like the hoodies, this fits well on you too” He got inside the bathroom to put on his pants and brushing his teeth and they leave ten minutes later, he offered her his hand and she took it.

The morning of the wedding the rest of David and Y/N friends from Uni were already there so the tension from the night before was gone, and they could actually start enjoying the party, and by the time they were sharing the mandatory questions of how they met, and how their relationship worked they started to forget they were pretending, his arms didn’t let go of her waist, and she kept playfully brushing her forehead in his shoulder.

“Let’s talk outside” he said whispering in her ear and taking her hand. She followed him a bit worried by the serious look on his face, but the tenderness in his touch tranquilized her.

“I know, you can only handle them for short periods of time” she said once they were in the garden, the sun had been merciful with the bride and it seemed it would be lovely for an outdoor wedding.

“How long have we been friends?” He asked looking at the personal setting up the altar.

“What …? Amm almost three years exactly I guess, why? Am I fired as a friend?” Y/N was completely clueless about Tom’s inquiry and she was getting nervous so she tried to joke to ease the tension.

“Do you find me attractive?” He asked now looking straight into her eyes causing Y/N to look away by the burning pressure those beautiful blue lakes put on her.

“Jesus Tom, how much did you drink? What are playing right now?” She said, now completely desperate, instinctively crossing her arms to prevent him to see her shaking.

“None, and I haven’t been more serious in my life darling, so please answer the question” he said stoic.

“Okay… you are conscious you are a bloody movie star right?” She sound defeated, no longer kidding, almost vulnerable, looking down to her feet “Yes you are a very attractive men…”

“I know how I look that’s not what I asked” he said lifting her face delicately by her chin.

“I know what you’re asking, and yes” She said breaking apart from his touch “If you didn’t know by now I found you terribly attractive, and even if you didn’t look like that, who you are as a person is even more painfully charming”

“Then what are waiting for?” He said simply taking one of her tremulous in his “Don’t you think is time?”

“Time for what? Loose a caring loving friendship for a weekend shag and then never talk to each other again?” She push his hand aside “If you are so desperate to take me out of your life just ask me it would be less painful” Y/N voice was dry and angry but her eyes were fighting to hold in the tears.

“Stop doing that!” He said now rising his voice too “I just want a chance, WE deserve a chance, and please don’t undermine my feelings for you because I will never want you out of my life” He took a deep breath and then continued “There are still 48 hours on this weekend before I take you back to London, so let’s use them.”

“Use them? How?” She said now more calmly.

“Let’s pretend I have the courage to call the next morning, let’s pretend you didn’t put this completely understandable barrier on your feelings, let’s give it a chance” this time she didn’t let go from his touch so he ventured his hand to cup her face tenderly “If this doesn’t work I’ll drop you at your flat and I’ll see you Monday to have dinner in your office like always and we’ll never talk about it”

“And if it works?” She give him a smile, almost as if she couldn’t believe she was agreeing with his idea.

“Then I’ll make my understudy the happiest man alive because I’ll take you for a week to France” He said now smiling. “So what do you think?”

“I hate France, but what the hell, let’s do it, how do you want to start?” She bite her lower lip, completely sure this was a mental idea that would explode on their faces, but no longer caring about it because she hoped for the best just like him.

“Maybe like this” he took her face with both hands and slowly brushed his lips with her, waiting a moment for her to pull apart, but she didn’t so he finally kissed her, tender and slow enjoying her soft lips, then he felt her hand in the back of his head pressing him closer and all logic thought evaporated from his mind, he took her by the waist and hold her firmly against him, forcing his tongue inside her mouth delighted by the quiet moan she let go when he did, questioning why had they waited so much for this? He finally let go gasping for air, looking at her and the beautiful blushing in her face, and her now swollen lips.

“Good start” she said trying to regain her composure.

“Definitely better than the first one” he said combing his hair with his fingers.

“What? We have never kissed before” she said and a sudden realization strike her “Oh for fuck sake! I kissed you when I was drunk all those years ago didn’t I?”

“You did, and vomit immediately after, please don’t do that now” He said and let go a chuckle.

“Oh great, excuse I’m going to drown my self at the lake” they both laughed, and went back inside in silence just holding hands like a couple of idiots, their clock had just started ticking in reverse, and there were endless possibilities, and for the first time in a long time they were both ready to let it happen.


	8. The end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One last trial before they can reach the happy ending

Expensive cars start arriving at the hotel by 5 in the afternoon, as Y/N had speculate there were at least another fifty guests that didn’t make the cut for the dinner the day before. A few hours before she would have gladly change places with them, however now while she could hear Tom pacing outside the bathroom she was happy she didn’t.

Her mind was still consumed by doubts and desperation, he had in fact kissed her, for real that time and even when it felt like heaven in the earth she was still cautious about this all being too much too soon, Soon? It’s been three fucking years!! The voice in Y/N’s head was trying to encourage her to take more drastical measures but her commonsense urged her to stop the situation immediately.

She finished fixing up her hair and put on a pair of earrings, Zawe and Caroline had finally chose a revealing deep V neck dress in dark blue that showed both the middle of her chest and her side ribcage, a bit too much from what she had hoped for, but at the same time she want to impress him, Y/N took a deep breath and finally walked into the room, Tom was standing in front of the window looking at her, he had his tie on one hand and froze in his place when he saw her.

“The bride will hate you” he said simply at her “Bit of help?” He extended his hand with the tie and Y/N walked towards him.

“You are perfectly capable of doing it in you own” She said taking the tie and passing it around his neck. “Do you really need to mock my poor grooming skills?”

“On the contrary my dear” He said with a smug on his face. “I only need to take a closer look, is that a bluebell?” He shook his head to the side trying to get a better angle of her exposed side rib cage, where the top of the wild flower showed proudly and the rest of it remained under her dress.

“It is, I’m afraid my dress doesn’t do a good job covering the whole tattoo” She said finishing the knot and trying with all her strength to avoid his gaze, a difficult task since Tom had take the liberty to touch her exposed skin with his fingertips touching the contour of the fabric covering the rest.

“Well now I’m even more intrigued to see the rest, I think this color looks great on you y the way” He said pleased to feel her skin tremble under his touch.

“And I think is time to go downstairs” She said taking his other hand and pulling him to the door. “It would be rather rude to be late since we arrived yesterday, let’s go” Tom smiled and let her drag him to the elevator.

The ceremony was simple but romantic, the personal of the hotel put up a nice aisle in the garden and Y/N was glad David got away with not having a priest, nor a church, since the man was definently not religious and it would make Agnes furious, and on top of everything the bride had use a light pink gown, so the now Mother in law’s plan to wear white was meaningless. Happy tears roll from Y/N’s eyes hearing the pair exchanging vows and Tom held her hand dearingly.

“I could do better fou ours” He said teasingly

“Of course dear, but ours will be in the summer” She responded playing along.

Once the symbolic union was sealed the people disperse and walked back inside the hotel for the reception, at least twelve waiters arrive charged with platters of appetizers and glasses of champagne, while the friends and family start to take pictures of the bride and groom, and the few children invited let go of their parents and start scattering around causing trouble.

“I don’t want children” Tom said casually, when one of the boys almost tripped the waiter with a tray full of food.

“What at our wedding?” She asked believing he was still talking about their previous game “I think you could ask the guests not to bring them in the invitation” She took a couple of glasses of champagne and gave one to him. “But it could sound rude”

“No, I mean at all” He said taking a sip of his glass and looking serious at her “ I have Bobby, and if I’m honest I never saw myself with kids, I like them and I don’t have problem to engaged with them, it’s just not a priority in my life” He give her a cautious smile but she looked taking by surprise with his words.

“You talked to David” She said not asking but stating, then Y/N took her glass and start emptying it in one big sip.

“You really shouldn’t…” He started but she make him shut with a move from her hand.

“I will punch him when he is back from his honeymoon” She said once it was finish “That was not his place to talk, it’s my problem I should get to tell people about it when I want to.”

“I’m sorry” He said trying to read her expression, but not finding a definitive feeling in her eyes “I knew that you will be mad about me finding out, I just wanted to let you know I don’t care, I’m not trying to be the hero saying the right thing, just sharing my opinion”

“Thank you, I know” She said nodding her head “And I would have changed my mind for you, you know? But it’s nice to be on the same page… let’s dance before I start crying, it won’t be pretty if I do” He took her hand and guided her to the improvised dance floor were the rest of the guests were already enjoying themselves.

The food was impeccable, so were the cocktails and the music, and the newlyweds spend their time taking care of their guests of wich Tom and Y/N were the happiest, now trying to get used to the newfound intimacy in the simplest actions like holding hands and looking at each other from across the room, especially since they had been doing that for years but at this moment it meant something entirely different.

By the moment the cake was cut and served, and the booze was making the choices for the guests; Y/N and Tom were dancing ignorants of the world around them.

“It’s skull island by the way” Y/N said after he made her spin to land in his arms.

“Is what dear?” He asked puzzled.

“The movie you look prettier” She said laughing at his sudden surprise.

“Is the tshirt isn’t it?” He said laughing with her and pressing her closer to him while the DJ changed the tune to a slower one.

“And the way you say Sword, is almost unbearable” She said and give him a teasing look. She reached for his mouth with little effort since she was using heels, yet he had to bend a little to meet her halfway eager to kiss her again when the ring of his phone went off and she let go a small laugh “Every time” She said ironically rolling her eyes “Go take your call and then toss your phone in the lake and I’ll do the same”

Tom smiled at her and walk out of the hotel away from the drunk people and the loud music.

“You better have a extraordinary excuse darling, I was in the middle of something important” He said to the other person on the line.

“I do, it’s an emergency. Do you happen to know what is Y/N favorite take out place?” Zawe answered.

“Sure, the Sushi place three blocks from the theater. A bit odd of you to ask that, why didn’t you ask her?” He said confused.

“Well since it’s for here surprise party I don’t think she should know” She answered in a matter of factly manner.

“Surprise party? But her birthday is nowhere near this month” the conversation was becoming more and more ridiculous.

“No, of course is not for her birthday, Caroline hasn’t told you? Well of course she hasn’t she just confirmed it this morning, Y/N is leaving the theater on monday, we are planning a surprise party to thank her for her time here” She said and immediately Tom felt like he had swallowed ice. “Anyway thanks, I’ll talk to you later, don’t tell her anything”

“No, sure, goodbye dear” He said before she hung up, and he simply stood there looking at the lake, trying to understand what that meant, why was she leaving? And why she didn’t tell him?

“Oh there you are” Her voice bring him back to earth “I need to hide, Diane is about to throw the Bouquet, and she has already told me three times where I should stand to catch it, I don’t need that” She was smiling and went to try to hug him yet he didn’t move, and she immediately knew something had changed “Are you alright? Bad news?”

“What? Oh no, something without importance, I am actually tired, I think I’ll go upstairs” He said trying to avoid unleash his anger on her, but getting even more offended bye the concerned look she gave him, and for the first time in their lives he felt angry at her.

“Sure, I’ll go with you, the heels are killing me anyways” she said and he walked with her back inside and walked to their room, refusing every attempt of her to hold his hands. Once they were in the hallway near their door she took of her shoes and once again try to light the mood “This brings back memories, don’t you think?”

“Of what? You drinking more than you should?” He said sharply hating himself for enjoying the pleasant feeling of hurting her.

“Tom what is it?” She said finally once they were at the door “Did I do something that upset you? If I did I’m sorry, but tell me what it is”

“Just get inside Y/N, I’m tired of this” He said again not changing his tone and entering the room.

“Tired of what? The wedding? Me? Look I’m not apologizing again, but you were the one who wanted to "try” this you can’t blame me if you suddenly change your mind" She said now angry at him and that made his blood boil, How could she be mad at him for this?

“I changed my mind? Excuse me but I didn’t quit my job so I don’t have to face my problems, but ofcourse once again this is all me right?” He was screaming at this point in part due the anger in his chest and in part thank to the alcohol in his blood “You acting like a child ends up being my bloody problem, you know what? For someone who claims to be so honest you sure like to keep many things from people” he said now looking directly at her but she was not backing out, she hold his gaze for a moment before speaking.

“Who told you I quit the theater?” She asked dryly.

“Zawe, they are planning a farewell party in secret. Surprise” he said sarcastically.

“And you didn’t think about asking me first if it’s true, it is by the way, but seriously it doesn’t occur to you to ask why?” She said ignoring his tone.

“Well since you tell Caroline this morning I assume it has something to do with me making advances with you, and I think it would be easier if you had simply reject me instead of running away like a coward”

“Now I’m a coward, that sweet of you, and no for your information I give her a two weeks notice and this morning, before you woke up I confirmed my decision to her, because my life doesn’t revolve around you” she said tossing the shoes she still had on her hand. “And since you haven’t asked I will tell you, Bethany hardly ever go to the theater anymore, and she is happy and well, she doesn’t need me, and I got a tenure in the hospital wich is a better paying job with better hours, I was going to tell you tomorrow, because I thought that our bond was not dependent of how much time we spend in the same building, but it seems like I made a mistake there, and that you need to offend me so congratulations on that” Y/N sited on the bed and look at her feet, and his anger dissipated as fast as it was formed, ashamed of himself he walked towards her and pull a chair to sit in front of her.

“I’m sorry, I should have asked, I shouldn’t have said those things, I apologize” He said taking her hands in his. “I just felt… I just don’t want to lose you, it’s selfish and childish and I can’t talk about cowardice since what I just did is not exactly courageous” He looked at her and she didn’t look away, and for some reason she looked even more beautiful at that moment, her chest still moving fast for screaming and her cheeks still red for the blood rushing to her face. “I’m happy you get a better job, and of course our relationship is more important and stronger than us working in the same place. I’m sorry”

“Don’t worry, it’s okay. Great way to end the night right?” She said with a timid smile, and then a quick idea run trough her minds “And the new job it’s not the only reason, you do have something to do with my decision” she said with a smile that disconcerted him, since he had never saw her smile like that.

“How so?” He asked in a whisper, taking another look at her, the dress looked fantastic on her body and he let go of her hands to hold them still fighting the impulse of touching her.

“Well technically since I’m in the payroll as a doctor, every member of the staff is my patient, that includes the actors” Y/N said cautious and then biting her lower lip add “And call me old fashioned but I take seriously the rule of "You can’t sleep with your patients…”

He pinned her in the bed before she could notice and only could let go a gasp in surprise that was silenced by his mouth crashing on hers voraciously kissing her, demanding her lips and then his tongue forcing it’s way inside her mouth, with one hand holding hers firmly against the bed on top of her head and the other desperately pulling the skirt of her dress up to her hips, exposing the delicate black lace underwear she had chosen for the night, and then caressing her sex over the lace feeling the already wet fabric and listening to her moans thinking there could not be anything more pure and perfect that her.

He let go of her hands to take down the strips of the dress exposing her naked breasts and leaving a trail of kisses from her jaw to her collar bone, cupping her right breasts an playfully pinching her nipple.

“It’s actually quite tasteful” he said examining close the tattoo that started under her left breast and continued to her ribcage, the clean hand written phrase “Nevertheless she persisted” surrounded by wildflowers and the infamous blue bell that had been on his mind the whole day. He traced the lines with his tongue until he reached her other nipple and started sucking delicately at first and then more and more hungry, making her moan once again.

He finally move apart the fabric of her panties and let one of his long fingers inside of her, curling it inside of her, please to find her so wet and ready for him. He pulled her up higher in the bed, resting her head on the pillows so he could be fully on top of her and then he removed his fingers, licking her taste out of them, and he started to take of his jacket.

“What are you doing?” She said stopping him before he took off his tie.

“Well it seems appropriate” he said with a chuckle.

“Leave it” she said pulling down from his tie with one hand to make his mouth meet hers and with the other undoing his belt and painfully teasing his erection over the fabric “Fuck I love that beard” She said before kissing him again with her tongue trying to fight for power and loosing completely once his hand returned to circling her clit and making her arched her back unde this touch.

“I have wanted this for so long” he whispered in her ear introducing another finger inside while his thumb continued to press her center, torturing her. “I just hope to live up to your dreams” He said and he could feel her face blush even whe he was not looking at her.

“You little perv, you were listening” She said trying to control herself to not finishing just by his touch and lowering his trousers and underwear finally setting free all his length.

“I must say it was quite sexy listening to you pleading for me” He said and he stop his movements altogether to face her with an evil grin on his face “Say it” he order her.

“Not happening my love” She said failing to look composed.

“You sure?” He said pressing her clit again, making her moan louder and sink her fingers in the bedsheets, she was right there was something about her being almost naked under him while he remained fully clothed.

“Fuck me” she said finally in an almost silent pleading whisper.

“What was that love?” He said putting her legs at each side of his hips and teasing her entrance with the tip of his member, “I didn’t quite get it”

“Please Tom fuck me already” She said and he finally entered her without hesitation, almost loosing his mind by how good she felt, he slowly started thrusting her unable to control himself going faster and faster encouraged by the sound of Y/N’s irregular breath, panting and kissing him like her life depend on it, he put his hand behind her waist firmly holding her trying to go deeper and deeper on her, marveled by how tight she felt around him.

“Come for me love” he said feeling his climax approaching, and she let herself go with his name on her lips, and a few thrusts after he emptied himself on her, holding his weight on his arm to avoid collapsing on her.

He exited her and lay down next to her, instantly missing her touch, so he pulled from the hand still underneath her and pulled her closer kissing her forehead and stroking her hair feeling her warm body holding to him.

“Is a good rule” He said after a while, and she start laughing, a happy, relieved and contagious laugh that told him all was ok, when they went silent she stood up from the bed and quickly fixed her clothes and then walk to the door. “What are you doing dear?” He called at her and his heart almost stopped when he saw her opening the door, but she immediately closed and came back, this time trying to unzip the back of the dress.

“Making sure the Do not disturb signal is in its place, a little help here?” Y/N said and he immediately went to help her with the zipper “And now what was that about being appropriate?” She said to him with a cheeky smile that told him their night was just beginning.

The next morning when he woke up the warm naked body was comfortably resting with her head on his chest, he smiled at the peaceful smile she had on her face and kissed her on top of the head trying not to wake her up, however shortly after he found himself looking to her eyes, and her sleepy smile greeted him.

“What time is it?” She asked shaking off the sleepiness from her and standing out of the bed, immediately looking for her clothes.

“Seven thirty I guess, why do you have an appointment?” He asked her getting out to and putting on his boxers trying to reach her to get her back in bed

“No but we got to be on the road in one hour” she said and entered the bathroom in a hurry leaving him questioning if she had changed her mind during the night.

Forty five minutes later and after giving their goodbyes to the couple they were already on his car, with her at the wheel, as they have accord before. And in less than 10 minutes they were back at the road.

“Do you want to get breakfast at Yorkshire?” She asked him smiling after a while. “I’m sorry to get out so fast, but I’m pretty sure someone must have listen to me screaming your name last night and I wanted to avoid an awkward breakfast”

“Yorkshire is fine” he said laughing and blushing at the memories of the night they had spent together.

They spent the morning walking in the town holding hands and pretending London was a world away in time and distance not talking about the question that remained unanswered between them. By the time they were back at the city only ten minutes apart from her place she finally break the silence.

“Do you still keep your suitcase ready in case you have to travel in an emergency?” She asked casually “Because I did my laundry on Thursday, but I haven’t fold any of it, and it may take forever”

“I do” He said not getting her point “I’m sure you have plenty of time my dear”.

“Sure sure, look I normally wouldn’t mind eating at the airport” She started taking the final exit before arriving to her place “But I’m sure at least four girls are going to run towards you while we are there and I look terrible right now, would you mind to order take out? Thai or Chinese your call” she said to his even more puzzled look.

“Airport? What do you mean?” He asked her still concentrated on the road feeling their little adventure coming to an end.

“France” she said with a beautiful smile on her face “I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure this worked out, I mean I would hate to miss my own farewell party, but a week away with you sounds so much better”

“Thai then” he said simply and took out his phone to order the food. “You know is quite sad, but we are going to miss Zawe winning Charlie on their little bet” he add following her inside her house to prepare her suitcase for their new adventure.

“Oh I’m pretty sure Bethany said three years and four months since we met and she is the actual winner” She answered going to the kitchen to make some tea, she didn’t mind if he haven’t had the chance to tell her he loved her, she knew. And he was not hoping to hear her say it, at least no yet. It was their truth, even if not outspoken, they both new.

The end


End file.
